Hating your mother

by Susan
(Saskatoon)

What if the mother never knew of such a thing as incest. What if the mother never seen any signs of any sexual advances, other than what she thought was a loving father who intensely focused on his daughter. He would give her a fatherly hug. And the daughter bragged about the special love that her and her father had. Her eyes would light up, when she would see her father, and she would loathe her mother, and work against her.


Maybe the mother thought HOW WONDERFUL that they have developed a good relationship, especially if the father was very seldom home, and was intoxicated when he came home.

How can the mother be blamed for something she was unaware of. Also what if the daughter is kicking her mother out of their home, and say that the house and furnishings, car, and mothers jewellery was all going to be hers, as her father told her so. So get out. Seems to me that the mother is also the victim in this case. Could I get a reply to this answer.

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May 22, 2012
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Placing Blame on the abuser not the abused!
by: Anonymous

If a father is sexually abusing his child, does this not demonstrate his abusive nature and as I learned with my ex-husband he continued to abuse every woman he came into contact with. Two more women were subjected to his violence. He strangled one woman until she lost consciousness and he attacked me with a knife. I left!

Why should a mother be blamed for her abusive husband, she is just as much a victim as her child. I have seen downtrodden women of famous men, and abuse is apparent, to what extent it is difficult to tell, but one can sense as one gets older and has learned from experience just how to know what is happening. How a young woman with no experience of abuse can be expected to know what is happening is an abuse of that person she is in essence also a victim!

Jan 13, 2012
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To Hating Your Mother
by: Laura Ramirez

As the primary caretaker of a child, it is the mother's responsibility to be aware of anyone in the child's life who could potentially cause harm and protect the child. Although you might not have known about the incest, a child who has been molested may blame his or her mother for not being there, for not paying attention to the little clues that if investigated, could have revealed the truth about what was going on and put an end to it.

Since incest creates a complex tangle of emotion, guilt and shame in a family, it helps to get into therapy. I know an excellent therapist if you have the resources and inclination.


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