Good Parenting Skill - Becoming a More Effective Parent

What is a good parenting skill? Let's think about this for a moment.

Is a good parenting skill a technique that keeps your child in line (like some little robot) or are you more interested in raising your child to be all he can be, to live up to his potential and fulfill his purpose here on earth?

If your answer is the former, then you're on the wrong parenting web site and you need to click away while you still can, so you don't have to reflect on any ill-conceived notions about parenting.

If your answer is the latter and you cringe when you recall the ways in which you've overreacted to your child's behavior ...

if you truly want to find a better way ...

... if you want to handle situations more skillfully, with a minimum of stress, while teaching your child what he needs to learn make better choices and take steps toward becoming a more responsible and caring person, then you're in the right place.

good parenting skill

Most parent-child struggles occur when a parent wants a child to do something and the child refuses or throws a fit. Or when the child makes a mistake or does something the parent considers disrespectful or dangerous.

What happens in such situations is that the parent usually overreacts and resorts to treating the child exactly as she was treated as a child. This is reflexive and automatic. It is a problem all parents face.

What makes one parent different from another is whether she is willing to take the steps necessary to change automatic behavior that is psychologically and spiritually damaging to their child.

For instance, if a child breaks something, a mother may find herself screaming at him in the same tone and with the same intimidating body language that her mother used on her when she was just a child.

If you think screaming at your child to "discipline" him is a good parenting skill, then you need to do some serious self-reflection.

Obviously, if raising your child is leaving you exhausted and bent out of shape ... if it's demeaning and hurtful to your child, then something needs to change. Most parents have this realization on the edge of their consciousness, but they do not know what to do about it. And since they were raised by parents who screamed, yelled, ranted and raved at them, they just do what they were programmed to do and so, the torch of dysfunction is passed.

Rather than being responsible for passing that torch, take an honest look at your behavior and admit it isn't working. This is how you can transform a dysfunction into a good parenting skill.

Not only will you create a better relationship with your child, you will transform every aspect of your life.

A good parenting skill is cultivated consciously.

By learning what you didn't get from your parents and giving it to your child, you will break the cycle of dysfunction. Your personal growth will benefit your children, your grandchildren and your grandchildren's grandchildren. That's how big this is.

The steps for doing this are simple, yet profound. Still, you cannot do them without the help of a guide—someone who has been-there-and-done-that. The reason is clear: these behaviors are unconscious and you need someone to guide you to recognize, reflect upon and consciously change them.

If you truly value your relationship with your child, you will take this step. Rather than imprisoning your child by raising him with the values and behaviors that have imprisoned you, take the steps to break free of this old-school indoctrination. I can't state it in simpler terms. Either you'll get it or you won't.

To learn how to turn an ineffective parenting behavior into a good parenting skill, sign up for my parenting class by clicking on good parenting skill.

Parenting Magazine

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