A Tool for Parents to Discipline Children and Inspire Healthy Choices
How can you discipline children and teach them that there are consequences for their actions? One way to give your child a sense of responsibility is to let him suffer the natural consequences of his behavior. For example, let's say that your child consistently forgets his completed homework. You can resort to reminders, nagging and even dash back home to retrieve his homework when he forgets. Or you can allow him to suffer the natural consequences. With many teachers, late homework means a lower grade. The first method means that you must become a nag. It also means that your son is rescued from the consequences of his forgetfulness. Sometimes the most effective way to discipline children is to remove your influence from the outcome. To discipline children with natural consequences, you must allow time for the scene to play itself out. In this hectic world, there are days when parents simply don't have the time. Certain behaviors--such as constant bickering--don't have consequences that are impactful enough to cause a child to change. And when you're on your child for every little thing, you become the bad guy. Although you can teach your children conflict resolution skills (I've written an entire section on conflict resolution skills in my forthcoming parenting book), parents don't have time to referee every petty little fight. When you discipline children for excessive arguing, it wears down your patience and can draw you into the drama. Becoming an arbiter of petty grievances compounds your stress and trains your children to believe that they must rely on you to work things out.
What can you do instead? For such instances, I recommend a tool that will discipline children by giving them consequences appropriate to their behavior. This tool takes you out of the equation and prevents you from continually taking the role as the enforcer. This child discipline tool hangs on the wall and comes with wheels divided into pie-shaped sliced on which there are different behavioral consequences. A child spins the appropriate wheel to receive his consequences. If you don't like the consequences, you can write in your own. The product comes with wheels for excessive arguing, wasting energy (leaving lights, t.v. on, etc.), talking back,failing to put things away, etc. There is even a reward wheel for good behavior. To make it more fun, you can enlist your children in setting appropriate consequences for misbehavior that occurs with regularity in your home.
Although I don't recommend that you use this tool exclusively, it is highly effective to use to discipline children when you don't have time or in situations in which there are no immediate or natural consequences. Since spinning the wheel is fun, kids actually look forward to their consequences and perform them willingly. Since the child's spin of the wheel determines his consequences, you are no longer the bad guy.
Last week, my youngest son threw a tantrum which made us late to school. Since we had to run, we had no time for consequences. I told him that when he came home from school, he would have to spin the wheel. Six hours later when I picked him up, the first thing he said as he climbed into the car was, "I have to spin the wheel when we get home." He was actually looking forward to his consequences. When we arrived home, his brother and I looked on, as he spun the wheel. The spinner stopped at "Parent's Choice" which meant that this time, I would choose the consequences. Since my son's tantrum that morning had caused me stress, in order to make things right, I told him his consequence was to lighten my load by washing the pots and pans. Without the wheel, such a chore would have inevitably lead to grumbling and complaints. But since my son's spin had determined his consequences, he accepted them with a smile and got to the business business of filling the sink with soapy water.
The Better Behavior Wheel allows for behavior management and is a positive way to discipline children without spanking. By hanging it on the wall in plain view, your children will think twice about their behavior. It can also be taken with you in the car for use during long trips. With the purchase of a wheel, you get the Virtual Wheel which runs on your computer, has more consequences and is easily customizable. This is an excellent tool to discipline children and makes a great gift for harried parents.
The Wheel is recommended for children five and older. It's also a great tool to discipline children in school.
To purchase a wheel for your home or classroom, click below.Better Behavior Wheel
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