Do get married until the kid is out of the house. It only gets worse. You and your boyfriend will end up hating each other, RUN!!!
Jan 04, 2009 Rating
Defiant Teens by: Laura Ramirez
You are dealing with a defiant teen who tries to provoke you at every turn. Your description indicates that he probably has a disorder called oppositional defiant disorder. Here are my recommendations:
1) Resolve not to let this child come between you and your partner. If you do, he wins and his behavior gets enabled.
2) Get a copy of this behavioral program which you and your partner can use at home to turn around your stepson's behavior.
The program contains simple techniques that were created by a therapist who developed them to turn around the behavior of countless defiant teens. The program works if you follow it.
3) Once you have received the program, ask your partner to sit down and watch the workshop DVD that comes with it. Make sure your stepson is not in the room.
4) Afterward, sit face to face with your partner, take his hand and touch him with your heartfelt words. Tell him how distressed you are about the way you are being treated by his son. Detail a couple of incidents and explain that his son is pushing you to the limit with his defiance, disrespect and inappropriate comments. Tell him that you are beginning to feel resentful of the treatment you are subject to at home.
5) Explain to him that this behavior is serious. If you need some back up, feel free to show him my post. Tell your partner that if he fails to intervene, his son's behavior will worsen. In fact, the research shows that oppositional defiant behavior can be the beginning of teen criminal behavior and is a precursor to adult antisocial behavior. If your partner continues to enable his son's defiance, one day, the authorities will have to get involved because the rest of the world is not going to tolerate such behavior.
6) If your partner loves his son, then he needs to recognize that his son's defiance is a cry for help. Deep in our hearts we all know that those who are cruel and disrespectful are miserable inside. Therefore, it is an act of love for your partner to take the steps to help his son turn his behavior around.
7) Take an active role in the discipline of this defiant teen. As he learns to respect the limits, his respect for you will grow. You are an adult, an authority figure in the home and you deserve to be treated as such.
This behavioral program is available on a trial basis so you can try it without risk to make sure it is right for you.
Know that you are not alone. Every day, I get more and more posts from parents, grandparents, stepparents and guardians of defiant teens.
