Defiant Kids

by Siobhan
(Auburn, CA)

Help! I have two defiant kids who are twelve and fourteen and are out of control. I don't know what to do and I'm so exhausted and exasperated, I feel like I might do something drastic. I can't sleep, can't eat, that's how worried I am.

My kids are always fighting and when they're not, they're ganging up on me, playing off each other. I am a single mom and the dad is no longer in the picture. I have no resources, no family nearby to help. I don't know how things got so out of control, but I know that I have to do something about it.

I have tried everything I can think of to get these defiant kids back on track. I've punished them, taken away privileges and talked to them about respect a million times. Nothing seems to make an impact on them. They just get in these moods and things spiral out of control. I have a limited budget, no health plan and cannot afford to pay for therapy, especially for both of them. I've tried using the school counselor, but she doesn't seem to get it. She doesn't see what little charmers they really are. The kids are starting to act out their bad behavior at school and recentlly, I've had some calls and complaints from their teachers.

I don't know what to do. What can a single parent with limited resources do about this kind of disrespect and defiance? I love my kids and am afraid that I am going to lose them. I'm scared that they are going to start doing worse in school (they were A and B students and are now getting C's and D's) and maybe even get in trouble with the law. I can't afford trouble, so I need to do something. Even more, I don't want to sit here and watch as the possibilities for their futures turn from bright to bleak.

Please, if you have any solutions for defiant kids that are affordable and that work, please, please let me know. Thank you for your time and for having a site where parents can tell the truth about their lives, express their fears openly and ask important questions.