Defiant Boys

by Monica S

I am ready to pull my hair out. I am a single mother of two increasingly defiant boys. My eldest is sixteen and has been described by the school counselor is "oppositional defiant." He treats me terribly. He's always angry, always demanding. Although I do as much as I can for him, he rarely expresses affection or appreciation for what I do and is never apologetic after he's lashed out at me.

He is about 5 inches taller than me, 30 pounds heavier and a whole lot stronger. I am starting to be frightened in my own home. A couple of times he has moved toward me as if to strike. Plus, his little brother, who is twelve, is starting to take his lead and treat me like his older brother. I can't take this anymore!!!

My ex husband lives in another state. He knows about my eldest boy and his defiance, but does nothing to support me. In fact, I'm beginning to see that my eldest son treats me the same way my ex husband used to. I don't deserve this. I'm a good mom, but I'm frightened and really need your help.

Please tell me what to do.


Publisher's Note:
Monica - you can read the long answer to your post by clicking on the comments link or just take my word for it and click over to Total Transformation®.

This program will help you turn around your boys before it is too late. I know a number of parents who have used the program successfully, much to their relief. Don't hesitate on this because defiant boys do not get back on track themselves. They need help and they need to understand the limits. You can do this!

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Oct 09, 2009
Get Help
by: Anonymous

Hi, as a wife and mom myself, I am very concerned about your situation. Start to demand respect from your sons, and give them punishments...even if they don't listen at first. Always remain calm cool and collected. If you're feeling uncomfortable, yell and say, "No, I will deal with you later!" Try to get dad involved, take care of yourself, gather a support group. If worse comes to worse: boarding school.

Dec 11, 2008
Stopping Defiant Boys
by: Laura Ramirez


I think you understand the urgency of your situation. Make no mistake, defiant boys who treat their mother poorly need to be addressed immediately. Do not hesitate because you cannot continue to be in a situation in which you fear for your safety in your own home.

Beyond this, your boys' defiance is a cry for help and if you don't get them the help they need, their problems with anger will snowball. Angry people do not have happy lives, so your children are suffering as well.

It's good that you've realized that your boys' defiant behavior is a reflection of the way your husband used to treat you, so now you can take the steps necessary to prevent them from growing up to be like their father and treating women with cruelty and disrespect.

In the past few months, a number of parents have written me to share their success with a program called The Total Transformation®. It's a program you can use at home (DVDs and a workbook) that will teach you step-by-step what you need to do to get your defiant boys back in control.

The program was developed by a therapist who has helped transform kids with oppositional defiant disorder both in the school system and in his private practice. The program works! All you need to do is follow it. Once you start creating a structure for your boys, they will relax and you will actually be able to communicate with them. I'm not promising you that it's easy, but it certainly is doable.

So get the program and try it out. Beyond this, the only other recommendation I have is therapy and therapy can get quite expensive. Plus if you have defiant boys, you may not be able to get them to go to therapy. This way, you bring the therapy home.

The Total Transformation®

Hope this helps!

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