Conflicts between Fiance and Son

by Scott
(Michigan)

Conflicts between Fiance and Son

My 8 year old son doesn't have a good relationship with his biological mother. She's neglectful and is more about her "boyfriends." Six months ago there was an incident with his mother's boyfriend (at the time). He had disciplined my son and caused bruises on his behind.

Me and my girlfriend got together and made a decision to take custody and called child protective sevices and so forth. I haven't got child support yet and didn't even push the issue. None of us paid child support since we separated in 2006 which has caused problems with my girlfriend.

The neglect from my son's mom causes issues and the lack of hugs and kisses makes my son feelings towards people especially my girlfriend distant. He even manipulates her and purposely pushes her buttons.

My girlfriend and I have a daughter together who is 10 months old and ever since my girlfriend was pregnant, their relationship has gone down the drain. He has an attitude, then she has one. Not to mention he has been diagnosed with ADHD/ODD and is taking medication.

I can't leave him alone with her because he doesn't respect her. I respect her and make sure he sees my attitude towards her. I even explained and showed him that this is our house and she is the boss. Lately, I just want to hand him back off to his mom.

I'm so stressed and it takes away from me and my daughter, my couple time, but I love my son. I'm torn on what to do. I want counseling but waiting on girlfriends doc referral. My son is seeing one and I talk to her, but I need couples therapy as well. I need a game plan and discipline structure for my son. I have done the reward thing. Lots of things and his school thinks he is improving, but it's at such a slow pace and me and my girlfriend are about to split.

I don't want to but everything has stressed her out and it just makes her always mad. Not to mention she feels I don't address anything. Either way if she leaves. I still need a game plan for my son. I need tips and advice and so on. I need help raising my son.