Children Anger - Strategies to Help Your Kids with Overwhelming Feelings
Knowing how to cope with children anger is one of the many skills that parents need to learn. Although some parents have kids with easy-going temperaments, even the most well-behaved kid can turn hostile. In this article, you'll tips for dealing with child anger and what to do if you think you and your child need help.
Child anger can be stunning in its energy and expression. I still remember how shocked I was when my loving, adorable two-year old threw himself to the floor and had his first big tantrum. While tantrums are a normal part of child development and your child's natural striving toward independence, some kids have real anger issues that need to be addressed, usually with a good children anger management
program. Parents who fail to address kid anger issues end up with inflexible teens who unable to process negative emotions and can be a danger to themselves or others.
To understand kid's anger, you must have some knowledge of child development (you can find a detailed description in my parenting book, Keepers of the Children). Toddlers and preschool-age kids get overwhelmed by their feelings and do not know how to control their tempers. This is why you must develop the patience to teach your child appropriate behavior and how to develop the self-control to keep his anger in check.
Of course, like anything, this is an art. In my special report, Cultivating Emotional Intelligence
in Kids, I teach parents a fun way to help children emerge from moods and tantrums, so they learn how to acknowledge their feelings without becoming a victim of them. This is a great tool for teaching kids how to learn to navigate their emotions and make tough choices.
When your child has a tantrum, focus on what you can control: yourself. You must appear calm when confronted with your child's anger. If you seem distressed ... if you buy into it, then your child's temper is reinforced.
Although most professionals believe that timeouts are a good form of children anger management for young kids, the people who really need timeouts are parents.
When you respond to a child's emotional outburst in a calm manner, the child comes to see that you're in charge and things are going to work out fine. If you address children anger with your own, this will worsen the situation and teach your child how to push your buttons.
Children & Anger: Parents Need to Be Role Models
Kids model the behavior of their parents, especially with regard to how their cop with anger. As such, an important step in managing kid's anger is learning to manage your own negative feelings. While it's okay to be angry and to express it in an honest way, it is not okay to use your anger to hurt others. Children anger management requires showing kids how to express their anger in a way that is not aggressive.
Finding the Cause of Children Anger
Like adults, children do not become angry without a reason. Your role as a parent is to help your child discover the root cause of his feelings. If you do not help your child get to the cause, then he or she can't get past the feelings.
Teaching a child to be aware of his emotions is an essential part of children anger management. Let your child express his feelings, especially the difficult feelings that most people tend to push away. It is okay to feel strong emotions. We are human beings and we have feelings. Teach your child how being aware of feelings and how to express them positively, rather than waiting until he explodes. This is healthier for him and those around him.
Be Attentive to Your Child's Feelings
Learning how to detect that your child is getting angry is an important skill for parents to develop. Teach your child to acknowledge the feeling that is growing inside of him, accept it, express it, direct it and move on. You'll learn how to do this with young kids with my special report on Cultivating Emotional Intelligence in Children. For kids who are more difficult to reach or tend to react with violence or hostility, you may need to try an at-home behavior management program.
When a child is angry, he needs an adult who understands how he is feeling and how overwhelming anger can be. He doesn't need an adult who punishes him because he's feeling what he's feeling. By being your child's guide, you can sidestep the tendency for children anger to turn into a tantrum, hostility or an act of violence or hostility.
For new parents, it may be overwhelming to be faced with children anger. If you have a child who gets angry occasionally and just needs emotional coaching, my special report will help. If your child's anger has escalated and your child lashes out or is becoming increasingly defiant, a good behavioral management program will teach you how to help your kids manage their emotions in a way that establishes the limits, yet fosters growth and independence.
One of our responsibilities as parents is to teach our children emotional fluency and how to get along with others, so it helps to have access to tools that will help us help our children to grow up to have good lives and have a strong social network.
Children Anger - Parenting Articles
Copyright © 2009 by Laura Ramirez. All rights reserved. You may not copy this article in full or in part without the express permission of the author. Children Anger