Child Behavior Problems - Overcoming Child Anger
Child behavior problems...
... if your child has behaviors that are starting to concern you, then you need to determine if this warrants an intervention by a professional or if it is something you can deal with on your own. In this article, you'll learn how to handle a child who seems to be angry at every turn and what to do if your child exhibits the warning signs that could indicate a serious behavioral problem.
Child Behavior Problems: All About Child Anger
Child psychologists understand that there are strategies that calm anger in children and there are actions that make it worse. Although anger is a normal emotion, if indulged, it can get out of control.
The literature separates anger into two kinds: adaptive and destructive anger. If your child expresses anger adaptively, then he does it in a way that communicates unmet needs and seeks resolution with the person involved.
Destructive anger reveals itself by thoughts or fantasies of revenge and/or the desire to hurt others or their property over a perceived or real injustice. A child may use anger to manipulate others to get what he wants. When parents tiptoe around a child for fear of setting off his anger, then you have a child behavior problem. The first step in solving it requires understanding the difference between adaptive and destructive anger, identifying which describes the way your child uses his anger and teaching your child to express his emotions in a way that is productive.
Anger should be a way to communicate needs, release pent-up feelings and heal the ruptures in a relationship. If anger becomes a way of playing the victim, this can create an identity for the child which then becomes the primary means of relating to others. If your child sees himself as a victim when in actuality, he victimizes others with his anger, his emotions have spun out of control.
Child Behavior Problems: What Parents Can Do
Whatever you do, don't indulge unreasonable anger. Don't encourage it by doing what therapists did in the sixties—encouraging their children to punch out their aggressions on a pillow that was supposed to represent the person they were angry with.
Common expressions of anger, including complaints about someone, negativity and hostility should be examined with parents helping the child figure out why he's angry and encouraging him to express his hurt and let it go.
If you don't know how to help your child with this common child behavioral problem, many parents have written me to say that this child behavior modification program has helped. I have just received the program myself and am busy writing a review. The program was developed by a therapist who has helped kids overcome anger issues for the past thirty years in school and in his private practice.
The program comes with a set of CDs and a workbook that can be used at home to teach your child the coping skills that will help him heal and get past his anger and deal with it in a positive way in the future. You can get a free trial of the program, so other than having to pay for the shipping, there are no upfront costs.
In order to illustrate how important it is to deal with this child behavioral problem, let me put it this way: a tendency toward anger, if left unchecked, only grows. If you don't deal with this issue now, then one day, the authorities might have to get invovled. Also, angry children tend to grow into angry teens who seek each other out and commit violent acts together.
Best of all, if you and your spouse have anger issues, this behavioral program will help you in the privacy and comfort of your home without the need for a therapist. For instance, if you're someone who often plays the victim or rails at the world and its injustices, then you may be teaching your child to do the same. As you change your behavior, your child will change because he will be modeling your new behavior.
Child behavior problems affect everyone in the home. Anger hurts the one who is angry much more than it hurts someone else, at least in the beginning stages, before anger turns into violence. This is why it is essential to nip these problems in the bud. The most effective way to do this is with a behavioral program
Child Behavior Problems: Warning Signs
If your child exhibits one or more of the following behaviors, it may be time to consult a professional. Don't bury your head in the sand. Take action today, so you can prevent serious consequences later on.
- Lack of empathy for others
- Cruelty to animals
- Threatening to destroy others' property in an attempt to get even and verbalizing other fantasies of revenge
- Cruelty to peers
- Fascination with violence displayed in t.v, video games or in the movies
If you notice any of the signs above, discuss them with your spouse. Also, if your child's teacher has brought up any of these child behavior problems, take note. Write down these instances and take your child to see a professional. Early intervention will prevent your child from growing into an antisocial adult.
Child Behavior Problems - Parenting Advice
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