Child Behavior Help: Why and How to Change Poor Behavior Now
If you're looking for child behavior help, then you may have a child who acts in ways that alarm you. For instance, some kids are disrespectful, and chronically defiant. Other kids will scream "I hate you" or make disturbing threats when they don't get what they want. Kids who have disorders like ADHD or ODD are particularly prone to this.
As parents, this behavior is concerning not only because it is hurtful, but because we worry about what is going to happen when our children take this behavior out into the world and meet up with authorities who will not tolerate it and will, in fact, punish it harshly.
Let's face it, child behaviour is important because kids need to learn how to get along with others. They need to learn the pecking order and how things work in the real world, not just to survive it, but to thrive in it. As parents, it is our job to prepare our children with the skills to face the world. This is one reason that you can't let defiance continue unchecked.
If you're raising a kid who is chronically disrespectful, what teacher is going to take a liking to him and write a recommendation letter for college and who is going to want to hire him? As a parent, these are questions that you can't help but ask yourself.
The key here is to get child behavior help before things get too far out of control. As you have probably realized already, poor impulse control does not get better on its own. In fact, it usually worsens with time. And each time a child gets away with disrespectful behavior, this reinforces his sense of power until he starts to believe that he is in charge and that the world revolves around him.
This is a dangerous scenario. Although you may tell yourself that this is just a phase that your child is going through and that you don't really need child behavior help, know that the most difficult situation for a parent to deal with (especially a single, female parent) is an out-of-control teenager who is bigger and stronger than you. The key: don't let it come to this.
The reasons for helping your child change poor child behaviour are clear: if your child knows how to get along with others, if he has what Daniel Goleman calls "emotional intelligence," then he is more likely to succeed in all areas of life, including the workplace. Humans are social creatures and we must learn how to get along with others. This is just a reality of life.
So the key is getting your child back on track and this requires some learning on your part. This doesn't mean that you are a bad parent or that it's your fault that your child behaves the way he does. It just means that no one has ever taught you the skills to turn negative self-limiting behaviors into positive, life-affirming actions.
Of course the first step is in believing that child behavior help is possible. There are countless cases of troubled youths who have turned their lives around. Imagine for a moment that transforming child behaviour and restoring the sense of peace and order in your home is possible. The second step is to get a resource that will teach you the techniques to make this change.
If you're worried that these techniques will be punitive or that you will have to become a harsh disciplinarian, like your parents were, then put your fears aside. These techniques are about setting limits firmly and lovingly and even with some humor. This is about getting your kid to respect you because he starts to trust in you and sees that you are giving him the tools to create a better life. It's about being smart and effective, rather than being harsh. Although kids may respect a mean parent out of fear, their ability to love that parent is forever tainted by their fear.
Learning to use a knowledge of what motivates kids in a clever and life-affirming way that sets the limits and encourages your child to discover his strengths and make choices that help him feel good about his life is what an effective child behavior help program is all about. Your kid isn't a bad kid, he just needs to learn how to better cope with his frustration and he needs strategies for making choices that serve him, instead of constantly making his life miserable and alienating him from others. It takes a caring parent to recognize that mean-spiritedness, rebelliousness and defiance are actually a cry for help and shows that your child has become disconnected from his heart and his sense of humanity. Such a parent takes swift and effective action to help turn this situation around.
Best of all, as your child starts to make good choices and sees how good this makes him feel, he will be that much more motivated to do well at home, at school and in his relationships with others.
Laura Ramirez is an advocate of helping troubled kids get their lives back on track with an at-home behavioral program like Total Transformation which was developed by a therapist who was once a troubled teen himself. Read her Total Transformation review to find out more about the program and how it can help your family.
She is also the award-winning author of the parenting book, Keepers of the Children: Native American Wisdom and Parenting which teaches parents how to raise kids to develop their strengths and lead fulfilling, productive lives.
Child Behavior - Parenting Articles