I am actually a stepmother myself. My stepdaughter is 4 years old and her father and I have only been married since this summer. I also am a mother of an 8 year old from my previous marriage.
Sometimes my stepdaughter will call me mom. I don't correct her and tell her that she should call me by my name because I am not her mother but I also don't encourage her to call me mom.
In my opinion, she needs to call me whatever she feels comfortable calling me and in your case the same with your daughter. If she is comfortable calling her stepmother, mom, than that's okay.
She will always know who her "real" mother is and I would assume you are confident in your relationship with your daughter that it shouldn't be a problem. I'm not sure if this helps at all but I just thought I would offer my opinion. Good Luck.
Nov 12, 2009 Rating
Step parents what should they be called? by: Anonymous
I think in your case your daughter probably shouldn't call her father's wife Mom, as you are obviously a big part of her life. I know in some cases, the step children call a step parent mom or dad but that is because their parent has no interest or contact with them and the step parent has been more of a father or mother figure than their biological one.
I am a step parent and my step son lives with me but he has never called me mom and I have never thought he should as his mother is in his life. I also have 2 daughters and would be devastated if they called someone else mom. Maybe your daughter is doing it to make this other woman feel welcome or she is maybe trying to fit in to her father's new family.