Bond between my daughter and ex-girlfriend

by Allen

My ex-wife and I have a daughter (who will be 3 in 2 weeks) together and we have 50/50 custody. About 10 months after she left me and a few months after our divorce was finalized, I started dating a woman (Lucy).

I introduced my daughter to Lucy a couple weeks after we started dating because I thought it was going to be a long-lasting relationship. She was almost 2 at the time. She instantly formed an attachment with Lucy, they got along great.

My daughter and I ended up moving in with Lucy for about 6 months, due to some financial issues. So she was around Lucy almost as much as I was for that time, and they formed a strong bond.

Now, almost a year later, after some ups and downs, Lucy and I have decided to end our relationship. We moved out of Lucy's place almost 2 months ago, but my daughter and Lucy have never gone more than a couple of weeks without spending time together. We tried to make the relationship work, it didn't. Now that the final decision has been made, I'm not sure what to do about that bond that formed between the two of them.

Lucy has been a great role model and friend to my daughter and my daughter adores her. She and I both want to do what is best for my daughter. So my question is, is it better for her to continue to see Lucy from time to time, or is it better for Lucy to completely disappear from her life? I don't want to confuse her, but I also don't want her to feel abandoned. I don't know what kids this young understand or how these things will affect them in the future.

Thank you for reading.

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Jul 08, 2010
Bond Betwen Child and Ex-Girlfriend
by: Laura Ramirez

Support the bond between your child and ex-girlfriend. Your child has already suffered the breakup of your marriage and now your relationship with Lucy, so she needs a sense of stability. If your ex girlfriend provides some of this, then so be it.

The only time I would recommend against continuing a relationship is if the adult's motives were suspect in any way or if there were some kind of questionable dynamic in the relationship.

Hope this helps.

More questions? Consider my parenting coaching services.

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