Biting toddler

My toddler is still getting his teeth in and he's biting everyone. I come from an old school family who beleive in returning a bite, popping in the mouth, and spankings. From my studies and now recent experience, returning physical behavior only makes the situation worse. And now I believe has been made such a grand deal he'll be using this technique for communicating longer than I would have wanted. Help!

I feel so bad that other people's children are being hurt. (My family doesn't believe that it should simply be left to age appropriate put him in time out. "You're teaching him it's okay to run all over you.")

I need help in teaching my son to speak or communicate in some way to express his frustration other than biting. I need help to relax and not hover over him so much even when he's not biting. I'm so afraid of what he'll do.

Thanks,
Renea