bio mom neglects step son

by Susan
(Tucson)

I take care of my 9 year old step son 5 days a week during school days. His mother gets him on the weekend. She is a hoarder and doesn't clean her apt. (which my husband pays for as his child support). She doesn't work or even try to finish high school she is 49 years old and relies on my husband to pay for her housing and utilities (they call it child support).


My step son is 2 years behind in school can't read past the 1st grade level, doesn't want to do homework and is not doing well at all in school (we just got him recently).

The mom doesn't cook says she is afraid of the stove (so does my step son), she doesn't pick up the garbage off the floor and he thinks it is okay to just thrown garbage and not pick it up. She also is addicted to prescription drugs and sleeps most of the day when he is with her he is outside while she sleeps in the apt. He has nowhere to sleep because of the condition of the apt. but he loves her unconditionally.

While at our house he steals food without asking for it. When he tells her he is hungry she ignores him so he has to try to find things to eat himself. One day while she was at our house I asked her to fix him something to eat and a hour and half later she didn't get up to do so he was eating a package of saltine crackers.

He doesn't dress himself or do anything on his own like most 9 year olds should be able to do.

She is the custodial parent but complains about keeping her son wanting us to pick him up asap on Sundays.

I don't know what to do because he loves his mother unconditionally doesn't know what is right or wrong. She steals and he has also picked that up from her. We have him in behavioral therapy which she doesn't want anything to do with because she doesn't want to be blamed for anything.

If my husband seeks full custody she will end up on the street with no income whatsoever. She isn't trying to better herself with all the free time she now has during the week.

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Sep 19, 2011
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Call CPS PLEASE
by: Anonymous

This is just my opinion, but I would IMMEDIATELY call your local CPS (child protective service) and have this woman investigated! It's wonderful that the son loves the mother unconditionally, but sometimes children's love is miss placed on parents who don't deserve it! Your husband may feel a little responsibility (for lack of a better word) towards the ex simply because it is the child's birth mother, but please please please don't let that responsibility or whatever you call it, take away from what you need knows doing! That woman needs to be thoroughly investigate and from what you've said, it sure doesn't sound like she deserves to have any children! You don't have to tell anyone, especially your step son, or other family members, that you were actually the ones that called CPS, all of that is kept confidential!! But by law, if someone calls in and complains, they have to investigate it I'll give you a good example of over-riding my sense of responsibility and guilt and simply doing the right thing: I wasn't the worlds best mother at one point when I was struggling with a drinking problem, ok, i'm older now and have been sober for almost 10 years. But I called CPS on one of my daughters because of her behaviors and bad habits around my grand child. She was investigated and I now have full legal guardianship of my grandchild. She is still my daughter and I love her very much, but until she realizes she has a problem (admits to it and seeks help) and tries to better herself, she doesn't deserve to have children! I felt horrible for calling CPS on my own child, but my adult child can take care of herself, my grandchild can't! If you ever want to talk more, lets exchange emails or something! Good Luck!

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