bio mom neglects step son

by Susan
(Tucson)

I take care of my 9 year old step son 5 days a week during school days. His mother gets him on the weekend. She is a hoarder and doesn't clean her apt. (which my husband pays for as his child support). She doesn't work or even try to finish high school she is 49 years old and relies on my husband to pay for her housing and utilities (they call it child support).

My step son is 2 years behind in school can't read past the 1st grade level, doesn't want to do homework and is not doing well at all in school (we just got him recently).

The mom doesn't cook says she is afraid of the stove (so does my step son), she doesn't pick up the garbage off the floor and he thinks it is okay to just thrown garbage and not pick it up. She also is addicted to prescription drugs and sleeps most of the day when he is with her he is outside while she sleeps in the apt. He has nowhere to sleep because of the condition of the apt. but he loves her unconditionally.

While at our house he steals food without asking for it. When he tells her he is hungry she ignores him so he has to try to find things to eat himself. One day while she was at our house I asked her to fix him something to eat and a hour and half later she didn't get up to do so he was eating a package of saltine crackers.

He doesn't dress himself or do anything on his own like most 9 year olds should be able to do.

She is the custodial parent but complains about keeping her son wanting us to pick him up asap on Sundays.

I don't know what to do because he loves his mother unconditionally doesn't know what is right or wrong. She steals and he has also picked that up from her. We have him in behavioral therapy which she doesn't want anything to do with because she doesn't want to be blamed for anything.

If my husband seeks full custody she will end up on the street with no income whatsoever. She isn't trying to better herself with all the free time she now has during the week.