Baumrind Parenting Style - How Your Parenting Style Affects Your Child
The Baumrind Parenting Style ...
... is based on Diana Baumrind's 1966 extensive analysis of three parenting styles and the outcomes for children who are raised in this way. Although this research may seem outdated, many parents are still primarily using one of these three methods to raise their kids because as you may know, parenting styles are passed from generation to generation. In this article, we'll explore each style (see if you recognize yourself in one of them) and provide a link to a fourth style that presents a better, more humane and practical way of raising children.
The first of the 3 parenting styles profiled by Baumrind is the permissive parent. This type of parent tends to respond to a child's behavior in an accepting, non-puniitive way. This parent may ask her child how he feels about the rules, consider his input and give him reasons when other parents would simply say, "Because I'm the parent, because I said so or don't you dare ever question me again." This parent uses reason to appeal to her child and allows him to explore the world with few limits, but in many cases, the permissive parent allows her child to walk all over her. In the parent-child dynamic in this type of family, many perceive the child to be in charge. Such a parent may be fearful of imposing limits because deep down, she is afraid her child won't like her if says no to him or enforces certain rules.
In the Baumrind parenting style model, the outcome for a child raised by a permissive parent is bleak and can include insecurity, inability to regulate emotions, defiance and disrespect for authority figures, other anti-social behaviors. When faced with challenges, this child may show a lack of confidence and persistence.
The authoritarian parent has a strict code of conduct which she requires her child to conform to without question. This type of parent places great value on obedience, does not encourage discussion and believes that her world is final. If her child disobeys, she will use harsh and punitive methods to get him to comply to her standards of proper conduct. This type of parent may show little tolerance for normal child behavior. She uses force and punishment to compensate for her fear that children who are not disciplined harshly will grow into out-of-control adults. Her motto: Spare the rod, spoil the child.
The outcome for a child raised by authoritarian parents is bleak as well. Typically, such a child has an anxious or withdrawn outlook on life and may react with hostility or futility in situations in which goals are frustrated. This child usually does well in school and in any situation where authority figures direct behavior of underlings. Such children are less likely to engage in anti-social or illegal behaviors.
The authoritative parent falls somewhere in the middle of the Baumrind parenting style continuum. This parent directs her child's activities in a thoughtful, goal-oriented way. Although she is open to negotiation on certain issues, she feels that other issues are not negotiable. This type of parent values individuality and spontaneity in the child, but also recognizes that the child must learn to display self-control and show respect for others.
Kids raised in this way tend to be happy and confident. Typically, they have good control of their emotions and have highly developed social skills when compared with children raised in other ways. Since their individuality was valued, they value uniqueness in others.
Now that you've about the Baumrind parenting styles, ask yourself which style you use. Reflect upon how your style affects your children and your relationship with them. Consider the ways in which you can become a more loving, humane and effective parent.
About the author: Laura Ramirez is the author of the award-winning parenting book Keepers of the Children: Native American Wisdom and Parenting. The book use ancient native wisdom and modern day psychology to show parents how to overcome their upbringing and raise children to develop their strengths, so their lives become an expression of strength and integrity and they grow up to make a unique contribution to the world.
Baumrind Parenting Style - Child Discipline
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