Appropriate discipline at school of four year old

by Kristin

My four year old daughter has been recently complaining about going to preschool. This is a HUGE sudden change. She usually wants to go even when sick with a cold, although I don't allow that. Every time I pick her up the teachers tell me she is very emotional lately, and cries a lot (more new behavior only seen at school.) Finally, I got approached again when coming to pick her up at lunch time. The teacher told me she was crying again and has been very emotional. I have been trying to understand why this behavior is happening since we have a normal, happy home life and we have had no changes or sudden stressors.

When I told the teacher my daughter was reluctant to come to school, and that was a very new behavior for her....I expressed to her that she tells me nearly every night before bed that she doesn't want to go to school but would rather stay home with me the following morning. When I said this, the teacher got down to her level, put her face inches from my daughters face, and said in a very firm tone while holding her shoulders "You need to listen to your mom when she tells you that you need to go to school, you are getting ready for kindergarten and you need to listen to your mom!" I saw my daughter look intimidated, almost scared. It felt wrong to me! Should a teacher get up in a four year old face and be that firm? Is that appropriate? My child is not a behavioral problem she is so easy going and happy and I hardly even have to put her in time out because she listens to me so well.

What is your opinion on this? I called the preschool director to notify her of this, and she said one of the first things you are taught in child development class is to get down to their level and look them in the eye. I still feel like with her harsh tone, and holding my daughters shoulders as well as being inches from her face is just no better than bullying her, not an excellent child development technique. Am I wrong here?

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