4 Year Old Boy Still Breast Feeding and in Diapers

by dad
(CA)

I'm concerned about my 3 year 10 month old son's social development. He is incredibly advanced verbally, but still in diapers. He has an almost photographic memory, but still breast feeds several times daily.

He is a loving, joke-y and interactive boy, but only with his mommy and daddy. My concern is an apparent lack of social development. Not only does he not want to play with other kids or adults, he does not want his mommy or daddy to even talk to anybody but him.

He yells and interrupts until you take your focus off of whoever you are speaking to and shift it to him, and he does not share. He's an only child, and he's spent every day of his life with his mother- she says he is too young to do anything independently (i.e. swimming lessons, or such).

He's never had a baby-sitter, and even when he asks for one on one time with daddy, he is met with open resistance from mommy. I'm wondering if this is at all healthy for him. He openly states he doesn't want friends, that he will never go to school, that he doesn't ever want to use the potty because he wants us to take care of it for him, and that he will only "do" things if it's with one or both of us.

Mom and he sleep together every night- she goes to bed with him, nurses him to sleep about 7pm, and stays in bed with him until he wakes. Then they spend all day together, to the exclusion of others. Am I wrong to be concerned about his independence?